Off On One Again
A blog of no interest to anyone apart from me. Highly egotistical. Somewhat ironic that once upon a time people kept diaries secret. Now we publish to the world, even if no-one is listening (or reading). This may include stuff on Greece, history, rugby, cricket, Health and Safety, Wales, genealogy and West Hendred. It will almost certainly include complete rants about things I find amusing, interesting or annoying. There is no guarantee that anyone will share my views!
About Me
- Name: Jonathan
- Location: Didcot, Oxon, United Kingdom
37, forgetful, cynical, sarcastic, would like to have been a struggling artist but ended up with a PhD in chemistry. Got bored with being in the lab, fell into Health and Safety and now can't get out of science without taking a pay cut. Rather enjoying the diversion into Environmental compliance. Unfit and terminally depressed. Lovely wife Sam - just about all that keeps me together. Son Rafferty GFX Hall born 24 Oct 2005 is growing up quickly. Greyhound (Buddy), cats (PJ and Boots), tortoises (Tinkerbell and Compost). Learning Greek at Evening Classes. Play Cricket badly for Didcot CC, haven't played rugby for years and am a little annoyed about that. According to my medical, am clincially obese. Earn far too little. Completed H&S and Environmental Diplomas
December 09, 2011
February 05, 2011
Zulqarnain Haider - was this a fixed match?
October 04, 2009
Facebook statuses
11.29.08 18:36:29
is writing an audit report at 1:30 in the morning, in the nude
12.23.08 02:22:08
is hoping for a quieter 2009 where I can lose some girth.
12.31.08 17:38:00
is going to work to be depressed. Again.
1.28.09 09:20:59
is pleased that he finally remembered his Facebook login details.
1.28.09 09:21:46
is naked
2.13.09 00:02:53
Jonathan has driven to Acton and back and had a fun half hour in Morrison's. Somehow going back to work for the afternoon was more entertaining.
3.18.09 19:42:39
Jonathan really doesn't like painting.
3.31.09 07:04:08
The dog is afraid of the rain. Hence I'm getting no sleep. And I've just run over the cat's tail with my chair.
4.8.09 04:48:53
I need a shave
4.8.09 05:11:17
Tired and surprisingly sunburnt. That's the problem with going bald, there's bits that never used to see the sun...
4.14.09 19:41:44
How come Force India get into good racing positions then lose it at the end?
4.19.09 12:05:42
is tired of counting waste drums
5.8.09 00:49:08
is pleased with the shot that got him 4 but not happy with the way he got out or the bowling performance
5.10.09 08:10:18
is annoyed at giving a simple return catch to a rather poor opening bowler. Enjoyed opening even if it was only because no-one else wanted to...
5.18.09 08:09:10
likes the English (Pirate) option on Facebook
5.20.09 08:33:04
Jonathan hit 31 not out yesterday to beat my career highest score of 28 when I was 10....
5.31.09 10:55:28
is averaging 16.75 for the season, easily better than the season I got to the dizzy heights of 0.5
6.15.09 07:28:16
has just beaten his highest career score with 34. 18 from 4 balls. And the fourths won for the first time in their existence. Happy happy!
7.26.09 11:47:09
needs a shave
9.21.09 19:38:37
My legs hurt from climbing ladders all day. I want to get back to being in my office all day having a snooze.
9.25.09 05:54:27
Another week, another descent into depression and cynicism.
9.28.09 08:02:25
The dog is not well at all.
9.29.09 13:58:46
I'm going to eat you little fishy. I'm going to eat you little fish. Ow, I broke ma tooth.
9.29.09 19:26:33
Flashforward - I worry that I might get hooked. Bring on the last series of Lost first.
9.29.09 19:33:02
Sam tells me that the fashion of the 80s is coming back. This means that my hairstyle will only be one decade out. Woo-hoo.
9.29.09 19:34:05
is depressed at getting up in the dark again as the nights get longer.
10.1.09 07:38:47
Forgot to turn my alarm off and its Sunday. Oh well, watched Algersuari fail to make it to the end of the GP.
10.4.09 08:55:04
July 30, 2009
Trying to cash a cheque for $360,000,000,000
July 10, 2009
Ed Joyce caught in fielder's pocket
May 25, 2009
Lelli Kelli
They now do party shoes with a heel for £50. There's some silly money out there. Pester power is one thing, but...
What is even worse is that I keep bloody singing it....
May 14, 2009
Heerenveen
Can you imagine the betting on that game…
April 28, 2009
The Lions
April 17, 2009
February 20, 2009
Irelands worst driver
January 25, 2009
Demons
September 07, 2008
Shirts
What on earth does anyone need 43 shirts for?
That doesn't include rugby shirts, T-shirts, etc...
Well, it worried me.
You know what it is
Ive been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord
Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
Ive seen your face before my friend
But I dont know if you know who I am
Well, I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where youve been
Its all been a pack of lies
And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
Ive been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord
I can feel it in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord
And Ive been waiting for this moment all my life, oh lord, oh lord
Well I remember, I remember dont worry
How could I ever forget, its the first time, the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you dont fool me
The hurt doesnt show; but the pain still grows
Its no stranger to you or me
And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord...
August 22, 2008
Aussies - wind up merchants and very bad losers
August 20, 2008
Last Place Medals
Have a chew
The stupidity of sport governing bodies
"The New Zealand hockey manager has been banished from the field at a crucial men's match because officials objected to his players' underwear. Kevin Marr was ordered to watch the must-win match against Germany from the grandstand as punishment for three players wearing black undies beneath white shorts in an earlier match."
The article goes on to suggest that Olympic dress codes demand players' underwear match their shorts. Who decided that? What did they envisage might happen if that rule didn't exist?
August 11, 2008
5 Live's Phone in
They seemed to completely miss the irony that as the self-titled Olympic station, they chose not to broadcast prime time from the Olympics (4 pm in Beijing) but broadcast drivel of that sort....
World Record in 4x100 Freestyle
Stunning.
July 01, 2008
The EU as a religion
French President Nicolas Sarkozy said "something isn't right" with the EU and warned citizens may be losing faith
Faith suggests a religion and that we, the members of the independent states, should be "believing". It is not a religion.
June 13, 2008
Cricket
Two particular matches are cases in point – firstly a qualifying match for the ICC Women's World Cup played last year between Bermuda (who beat Canada to pre-qualify) and South Africa. Bermuda were put in and scored 13 allout. Eight ducks, and three batsmen scored 1 each. Extras top scored with 10, Loubser took 6 for 3. Bermuda then bowled and Paynter took none for 15 in 4 legitimate balls – she bowled 9 wides and one no ball in her over. Interestingly, in the 7th/8th play-off of the same tournament, Paynter was Bermuda’s best bowler with 4 for 16 in 9 overs in far better, more evenly matched encounter.
http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/women/engine/current/match/312284.html
In the ICC International Division 5 tournament held last week in Jersey, Nepal played Mozambique in the group stages. Nepal batted first and scored a commendable 238 for 7, with several good contributions from the lower middle order. Nothing too special, but then their left arm seamer Mahaboob Alam opened the bowling and proceeded to take all ten Mozambique wickets for 12 runs in 7.5 overs (5 bowled, 4 lbw, 1 caught behind). 4 of the runs conceded were wides. Mozambique were bowled out for 19, with 9 players failing to score, Kaleem Shah scoring 9, Younis 2 and extras 8.
http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/wcl/engine/current/match/352381.html
Having said that, the tournament itself was a success, with Afghanistan beating Jersey in the final. The USA and Nepal reached the semi-finals, with Mozambique finishing 8th of the 12 countries.
In a far better match, Denmark played Holland at Brondby, (http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/other/engine/current/match/354029.html), and Denmark won by 8 runs in a very close encounter.
June 06, 2008
June 05, 2008
Cricketers' Underwear
New Zealand are set to try out high-tech bowlers' trousers, specially designed to put shine on the ball, for the third Test against England at Trent Bridge.
The trousers - manufactured by New Zealand-based outfitters Canterbury - were set to be used only from October, but they have been tried in practice. Also included is the micro-slide version for fielders, and the IonX BaseLayer performance underwear which is claimed to improve performance by 2.7%.
Please tell me what measure of performance is improved by your underwear…
Barrack Obama
June 04, 2008
Phil Tufnell
Blowers: "What was your highest first class score Tuffers?"
Tuffers: "67. All with fours."
Blowers: "I think you're suffering from a spot of mathematical incontinence old thing"
June 03, 2008
From the Test match Special blog
I saw Rory McGrath eating a sandwich on the Tube the other day. If it helps, a load of football fans were singing 'there's only one Rory Bremner' at him."
Keeping up with the Joneses
May 12, 2008
The Doctor's Daughter
April 13, 2008
Finland
Not a lot you can say to that.
January 18, 2008
Ladygrove
January 16, 2008
Channel 4's "Greatest" series
Sam suggested the next show could be the 2 Greatest whole numbers between 3 and 6.
January 12, 2008
Unfair dismissal?
They were sacked on the grounds that they would 'interfere with corporate peace', after they requested a smoke-free environment.
Thomas Jensen, the manager of the 10-person IT company in Buesum, told the Hamburger Morgenpost newspaper he had fired the trio because their non-smoking was causing disruptions.
Love it...
January 10, 2008
Amazon marketplace P&P costs
Explain the logic behind that one...
December 12, 2007
December 09, 2007
Shoes
November 23, 2007
Silverstone and Bernie Ecclestone
So every year we get the same drivel and criticism from Bernie, and every year he gets more out of the organisers. I’d say someone ought to stand up to him, but there are far too many “short” jokes there…
26 November 1970
November 22, 2007
Great quotes from the BBC
Colchester announcer at half-time in the Leicester game
"No disrespect to Adam Smith. He clearly created a great piece of work studying the rise of industry and commercial development in Europe and making the case for free markets - but come on, I'm the first ever Scottish fighter to win both the British and European super-featherweight titles."
Boxer Alex Arthur on hearing that he wasn't chosen to feature on the new £20 note
Q: 'What would you be if you weren't a footballer?'
Crouch: 'A virgin'.
Peter Crouch on Soccer AM
Jim Bloody Rosenthal
(stolen from the BBC website):
“Last week, when Arsenal faced Slavia Prague, it was seven. For Liverpool tonight, it was eight. When Chelsea went to Schalke in Germany, it was NEIN."
Jim Rosenthal stakes his claim for corniest quote of the season on Champions League highlights.
November 18, 2007
CD cases
November 03, 2007
What Can You Say?
Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder ahead of the clash with the New York Giants at Wembley.
(from the BBC website)
Wantage
10% of the female members of the House of Lords are old girls of St. Mary’s School, Wantage
October 21, 2007
Ferarri win the F1 World Championship
October 03, 2007
Notes about Welsh rugby
If Jones had been up to his normal standard and kicked any of the penalties or conversions in the first 70 mins, we would have taken the penalty in the dying minutes and won the game.
If Martyn Williams had gone behind the posts for his breakaway try the conversion would have been more straightforward – see point above.
My problem is that Wales actually played bloody well in patches. Of all the Home Nations, they got the closest to the “big” team in their group – Scotland and England were thrashed and pointless against NZ and South Africa respectively, Wales lost 32-20 to Australia.
They came up against a very very committed Fijian team – you can almost tell who will win from the anthems and Fiji were completely up for it, and blasted Wales away in the first half. They completely deserved their win: I just hope that Fiji and Argentina can maintain that form going into the Quarter Finals. If Argentina don’t continue to play well, they could gift Scotland an undeserved semi-final place…
You have to play what is in front of you, but Wales always looked likely to have a tricky pool with Canada and Fiji. I honestly believe that Wales, playing as they did, would have beaten Scotland, Ireland and England playing the way that they did, but that is the luck of the draw.
After the start of the tournament, it was always likely that there would be one big shock (I don’t class Argentina – France as much of a shock as the Argentineans have been a very good side for a long time). And typically, it was always likely to be Wales. England and, to a certain extent, Scotland, have more of an ability to grind out unattractive results against weaker but committed opposition. England rely on Wilkinson too much – not just for penalties but for drop goals, tactical kicking and distribution. Scotland rely on Paterson’s boot from just about anywhere. Wales play fast and loose but are not the best defensively, which means that teams will rack up points against them and occasionally it all comes unstuck. This result is not on a par with the Samoa results as we played like donkeys in 1991. We actually played well this time round.
Having said that, as soon as Alfie goes it’ll be good – he’s had his time. The coach was unlucky but that is the nature of Welsh rugby – one of the hardest jobs in the world to try and meet completely unrealistic expectations.
No Northern Hemisphere teams in the semi-finals? Highly possible.
I'm not sure that was really random abuse. The key part of my argument was that we have played better than the Scots and the English. England only really played well once they had Wilkinson back against Tonga, and yes they rely on him as a talisman as well as his immense abilities. I would have agreed about Dallaglio being a talisman a few years ago, I don't agree now. Like Gareth Thomas and a few others (especially the Irish), he is past his prime.
Scotland ground out a victory. They are good at it and they play to their strengths, as do England. Agree, it ain't pretty, but I would rather see Wales lose and score 5 tries that watch Paterson score penalty after penalty from all over the pitch. That's my personal opinion...
As for supporting other teams, I will be supporting England against Australia - very little could bring me to support Australia unless they were playing NZ... I will, however, be supporting Argentina against Scotland, as I feel Argentina deserve the semi-final place more, and it would be the best thing for world rugby for Argentina to get through. Scotland are not even supported well by their own public - they can't even fill Murrayfield for VI Nations games these days let alone for WC pool games. Shocking...! Ad that's not to start on the debacle of the Borders and Edinburgh professional teams over the summer. I think that another team (Spain, Romania, Portugal, Argentina, Georgia, Russia) would actually be more worthwhile in the VI Nations than the Scots (it'll never happen but something has to give, in order to develop the game outside its heartland).
September 21, 2007
Pain
How do you get 20 stitches in there…?
The History of French Rugby League
September 18, 2007
Scottish Rugby
September 15, 2007
England vs South Africa
England are going to struggle against a fired-up Samoa.
September 13, 2007
The problems with developing minnows by the IRB
The Pacific Nations play each other and the Junior ABs and Aus A. There used to be a Pacific Rim competition but it was not financially viable. There are proper international competitions in most geographical areas. The IRB have put in funding to the "minnows": you can see this in the performances of Portugal, US, Namibia, Georgia so far.
The problems however are threefold: (a) there is no money from TV or sponsors or advertising for these other competitions;
(b) European and Tri Nation club and Super 14 sides put pressure on their players from minor countries not to play internationals - this makes it very difficult to get the best representative side out (witness recent tours of Europe by Samoa, Fiji, etc.). Usually the one or two professionals are the ones who aren't allowed to turn out;
(c) Tri and VI Nations teams are (with some honourable exceptions) reluctant to tour minor nations: witness the Tri Nations expanding by having a third game between each team rather than invited Argentina and/or the Pacific Nations combined team.
Additionally, the Pacific nations have for a long time had their best players poached by NZ (and others) - there have bee players who have refused to play for Samoa or Tonga as they were waiting to be eligible for NZ. If they said they wanted to play for NZ they stood a better chance of a Super 14 contract. Better prospects for the players and their livelihood, but not for the nations.
September 11, 2007
September 10, 2007
Does Argentina’s result against France give Wales hope?
Argentina have beaten France and look likely to top their group as Ireland looked poor against Namibia. Assuming that the Tri-Nations teams top their groups, then the quarter0finals would be as follows:
Australia vs England
New Zealand vs France
South Africa vs Wales
Argentina vs Scotland/Italy
The first semi-final is likely to be between Australia and New Zealand, unless the French can find top gear against the All Blacks and really shock them. Wales have a chance to surprise South Africa, the weakest of the Tri-Nations teams, which would lead to a semi-final against Argentina, who by that stage may have run out of steam. So on that reckoning, it could be a New Zealand vs Wales final in the World Cup. And in a one-off match, who knows what could happen!
OK, I’ll come back to reality soon.
In The Night Garden...
September 09, 2007
Boffin
Minnows at the Rugby World Cup
Superb first half try by the Portuguese by the way. If Leal is not playing professionally somewhere after this WC, I'm no judge of rugby.
September 07, 2007
Argentina
Great tournament in progress, but the 8 semi-finalists will be England, Ireland, NZ, Australia, Wales, South Africa, Italy or Scotland, and 2 of France, Argentina or Ireland. That's just too predictable. It needs to be spread further.
September 03, 2007
Britain's Next Top Model
August 31, 2007
Coke and Diet Coke
Mobile Phone usage
Muppets.