Cold Callers (home)
My best two successes at getting rid of cold callers:
Caller: We’re phoning about double glazing.
Me: I don’t want double glazing.
Caller: We’re a local company.
Me: I still don’t want double glazing.
Caller: Can I ask you why?
Me: Because people like you phone me up at ten o’clock on a Sunday morning. Goodbye.
Caller: I’m phoning about the Oxford Journal, I’m checking to see if you get it OK.
Me: We do, but it’s not very good, is it…
Caller (struggling): Ahh, er, well I don’t actually get it where I live, so I’ve never read it.
Me (exasperated): It goes straight in the recycling bin. Not a very good use of resources, is it.
Caller: We’ll remove you from the lists.
Me: Thank you, goodbye.
We still get the Oxford Journal. And the Oxford Star. And the Courier. None of them have anything vaguely interesting in them.
Sam’s father had the best ideas. He kept double glazing salesmen on the phone for a long time asking lots of details, saying for ages that it was interesting and a good idea. Then finally when they tried to arrange an appointment, he said: “well, you’ll have to talk to my landlord…”.
Caller: We’re phoning about double glazing.
Me: I don’t want double glazing.
Caller: We’re a local company.
Me: I still don’t want double glazing.
Caller: Can I ask you why?
Me: Because people like you phone me up at ten o’clock on a Sunday morning. Goodbye.
Caller: I’m phoning about the Oxford Journal, I’m checking to see if you get it OK.
Me: We do, but it’s not very good, is it…
Caller (struggling): Ahh, er, well I don’t actually get it where I live, so I’ve never read it.
Me (exasperated): It goes straight in the recycling bin. Not a very good use of resources, is it.
Caller: We’ll remove you from the lists.
Me: Thank you, goodbye.
We still get the Oxford Journal. And the Oxford Star. And the Courier. None of them have anything vaguely interesting in them.
Sam’s father had the best ideas. He kept double glazing salesmen on the phone for a long time asking lots of details, saying for ages that it was interesting and a good idea. Then finally when they tried to arrange an appointment, he said: “well, you’ll have to talk to my landlord…”.
posted by Jonathan | Friday, January 13, 2006
3 Comments:
9 o'clock sunday morning. Hungover.
Caller:- congratulations
me:-Thankyou
caller:- How would you like a free kitchen and a mystery prize.
me:- not really, goodbye
caller:- wait, I could be offering you a thousand pounds.
me:- but your not are you
caller:- how do you know, I may want to give you a thousand pounds
me:- you're not going to though are you and I don't want to stand here in my pants any longer arguing with you in my kitchen, just send a cheque.
Cold caller: Hello, I'm calling from a double glazing company. If you could replace any of the windows in your house for nothing, how many would you choose?
Me: None.
You could try mentioning the Data Protection Act and see if that frightens them away. You have a right to have your personal details removed from their database.
My mother uses one of two tactics:
- she just puts the receiver down on the table by the phone and lets the caller talk to themselves for as long as they want to.
- she blows a whistle down the phone! (She kept a whistle by the phone because there was a spate of nuisance calls. It worked to get rid of them, too)
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