England vs Pakistan vs Umpires

An awful lot has been said and written about the whole sorry affair at The Oval last week. There is no doubt that this was a low point in cricket's public image, but my views of each of the parties has been going up and down over time.

Darrell Hair

He is either:

• a bigotted closet racist who has everything against the Asian bloc sides and has been waiting for an opportunity to trap the Pakistan team with the taint of ball tampering; or
  
• a self-important insensitive buffoon who handled a delicate situation very badly, then refused to come to any political settlement and come out for the post-tea session; or
  
• someone with his own agenda and massive ego, or
  
• the last great defender of the spirit of the game and of the upholding of the laws of cricket, who is prepared to make himself unpopular for the sake of a principle.
  

I'm actually veering towards the latter view at the moment.

The ICC

They are either:

• Strong arbiters of justice and complete supporters of their umpires, or
  
• are about to bow to the pressure of the Asian bloc and hang Hair out to dry, or
  
• are about to show their strength and risk schism by punishing Inzamam and his team to the max, or
  
• have no sensitivity to world politics and the state of the game at the moment and will be shown to be similar to Rugby's 57 old farts...
  

Inzaam-ul-Haq

He is either:

• a weak captain who didn't do enough in the way of protest (e.g., leading his team off the field) at the time that the 5-run penalty was given (and was then led by the team), or
  
• a national hero standing up for the reputation of his team and country, or
  
• an opportunistic man who turned his being villified as a losing captain to England into a hero at home for his stance, or
  
• a stubborn fool and bad poker player who greatly over-played his hand and didn't read Darrell Hair's intent correctly.
  

Billy Doctrove

He is either:

• a weak man of no influence whatsoever who is very easily led by his fellow (and far more experienced) colleague; or
  
• in complete agreement with Hair and deserves the same amount of stick or praise
  

Mind you, Doctrove was once a 3rd unpire who refused to give a TV decision in a match between India and the West Indies, and caused major confusion for 15 minutes when refusing to rule whether a batsman was in or out. He also left the field during another one day between the same countries and the match carried on as no-one realised he'd gone (until there was a run out decision where everyone looked to the empty space for a decision)! See Cricinfo for more details.

The ECB

They are either:

• the ultimate peacemakers in helping to persuade the Pakistan side to get back on the pitch, or
  
• very bad an public relations and communications in not letting anyone at the ground know what was going on
  

Mike Proctor

He is either:

• a very easy going bloke who was trying to let things run their course, not get things inflamed, and sort it all out at the end of the day, or
  
• a weak individual who backed away from any conversations with the captains to sort things out, or
  
• someone who dropped Darrell Hair in the thick of it by not immediately supporting him and endorsing the decision (as the ICC representative) that Pakistan had forfeited the game.
  

Mind you, with Hair, Haq, Proctor, the PCB, the ECB, the ICC, General Musharaf and some of the media commentators (Imran, Botham, Wasim, etc.), there are some planet-sized egos out there.