Ante-natal classes

Our antenatal classes have just finished. The 9 couples range in due date from start of October to start of November. The classes were run by the NCT and were excellent. I though I knew a huge amount about a lot of of things, but the classes served to show me that I knew absolutely nothing about childbirth and children! I have an understanding about the mechanisms of birth, what to expect with a newborn baby, how a Caesarean works, and a load more that I no concept of before. Plus all the bits they told Sam at the women-only sessions! The group was really good as well, made me feel rather normal.

Cadbury's Digestives

Cadbury's have started making their own range of chocolate digestive biscuits, chocolate covered rich teas, chocolate covered oatmeal biscuits, etc. It is definitely competition for McVities, but it seemed such an obvious idea. Why have they not done it before?

The chocolate digestives are rather good though.

Buddy the Werewolf

According to some kids I mett the other night while walking the dog, Buddy is a werewolf. I was not going to argue, there were more of them than of me.

How Clean is Your House?

Why is taxpayers money being used to clean up after the most disgusting people in the UK? These people shoudl be hung out to dry and made to feel ashamed, nt have experienced cleaners come in and clean their home for free (no doubt getting a fat cheque from the BBC in the process).

You people are disgusting, horrible individuals who have no idea on cleanliness or hygeine. Children have been taken away from people for less. I'm not suggesting that our house is perfect, but at least we make a regular effort, and there are no dead mice under the cushions of the sofa. This is not entertainment, its rewarding people for being utter slobs. You people should just get off your lazy arses and do some work, you filthy dirty scumbags. You don't see people who just need a quick vacuum getting onto primetime BBC, do you? Those are the one who probably deserve some help as they have made an effort.

It really makes you wonder. Involuntary euthanasia hass to be the answer.

Advert Volume

ITV have been castigated by the TV Regulator for showing adverts at a perceptibly louder volume than the regular TV prgrammes. There is a technical reason for this (something to do with the compressed nature of the soundtrack), but it does make the adverts stand out more. Cynically, one might say this is in the advertisers' interests. I rarely watch ITV (can't stand Coronation Street) but its much the same on most satellite channels, especially for some reason Paramount.

The advertisers, meanwhile, are up in arms over the new technology that allows viewers to skip adverts.

CNN Towers

"A Good View of the CNN Towers". Not only has this picture been going around email for the last 2 weeks, it even made it into the prgramme for Witney RFC's home game last week. Good picture though.

Jonathan Ross

UKTV Gold have just started showing repeats of Friday Night with Jonathan Ross. Ironically, they are showing it on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.

The danger of blackboards

Taken from IOSH's discussion fora:

Question:
I would be grateful if anyone could advise me on any restrictions on the use of traditional blackboards and chalk.
Obviously there may be an issue over chalk dust and people with breathing difficulties.
I know that blackboards and chalk are freely available, with some additional control measures such as "Liquid Chalk and Anti Dust Chalk" products also on the market.

Responses:

• Are you aware that Traditional Blackboards are made of asbestos and if damaged or used to pin display items on may constitute a risk
  
• Anyway a COSHH assessment should be performed and the risk to the teacher etc. should be assessed. If you have asthma or other lung condition it would be aggravated by the chalk (it could potentially start a lung condition). If you have a skin condition it could be aggravated etc.
  
• Lets ban the use of chalk just to be on the safe side
  
• that should be "Chalk Board". We are no longer allowed to call them "Black Boards" so the title is even more controversial. His lungs will; be lined with a coating of chalk dust so no other dust will affect him. Therefore no PPE requirements
  
• Board chalk is not calcium carbonate (which is chalk in the geological sense - see white cliffs of Dover) but calcium sulphate which, as far as I can recall has not been been subject to any OEL other than total inhalable dust (10 mg m-3) and respirable dust (4 mg m-3). Calcium sulphate is practically inert and the health hazards should be minimal. I would be very surprised if either inhalable or respirable dust got anywhere near the 8-hour limits although peak exposures could be highish when banging two board rubbers together, I suppose.
  
• Oh my god!!! Now we have actually hit the lowest point of the lowest point. If the press got hold of this thread I shudder to think what the general public would make of it. You are right this isn't a conkers bonkers story - this is infinitely worse. Chalk dust has never (never never) been a cause of serious injury in the classroom. The teacher throwing the board rubber at unruly children has been though! Is this a total wind-up or is MarkSmark trading under another name?
  
• At first i thought it was a wind up, however I have assured the faculty that presented the query of the low risk rating, with control measures such as the use of liquid chalk, anti dust chalk, full gas tight suits and an air filteration system with 2000 airline breathing appartus sets for all students on the campus!
  
• You asked about restrictions. I am only aware of past local education authority and school policies to replace this form of communication and an earlier instruction to refer to blackboards as 'chalkboards' for reasons of political correctness. At my old school, in addition to the official wooden duster being used as a missile for the inattentive, I can remember the long black sleeves of the masters' gowns being used as dusters (presumably because the wooden ones had been removed or hidden) and chalk dust being fairly widespread on floors and clothing by the end of the day. However, whilst considering the potential hazards from chalk we should also take the possible benefits into account as I suspect that the chemical constituents would have been useful in bone development and helping to prevent osteoprosis.
  
  
  

Beer Goggles

Letter in today's Telegraph

Beer goggles

Sir - There is indeed an English equivalent for bakku-shan, the Japanese expression for a lady who looks rather nicer from behind than otherwise (News, September 24).

She is a Kronenbourg - looks 16 from the back, but 64 from the front.

Mart Gottschalk, Sutton Coldfield

A History of Health and Safety

From IOSH.

Original article at The Telegraph; Craig Brown.


Re. 'A health and safety history of Britain.'
Wednesday - September 21, 2005


The Editor
The Daily Telegraph
Salters Hall
3rd Floor
4 Fore Street
London
EC2Y 5DT

Dear Sir,

Re: ‘Way of the World - A health and safety history of Britain’, The Daily Telegraph, 15.9.05

Craig Brown’s ‘amusing’ piece of fiction conveniently ignores the rather less amusing fact that many thousands of deaths occurred during these historic events.

However, in an attempt to keep this light-hearted…what a shame it is that IOSH wasn’t around in those days! The modern ‘health and safety officer’ doesn’t go around indiscriminately stopping activities, we advocate an approach of enabling activities to take place, but in safety.

So in an IOSH-coloured history all these events would have taken place, but with fewer casualties…apart from where Boudicca is concerned – she usually got her way!

The history of health and safety in Britain is fascinating, it is intimately linked with the social history of Britain and is full of discovery, triumph and unfortunately far too much tragedy.

So it’s rather sad that journalists increasingly choose to make the butt of their jokes a group of professionals dedicated to saving lives and helping businesses to function more efficiently. Surely such writing talent could be focussed on more positive aspects?

Yours sincerely,

Neil Budworth
IOSH President-Elect

McDonalds are evil - conclusive proof

There were the remains of a sacrificed chicken outside Milton McDonald's on Sunday. Evidence that McDonald's are evil...

Actually it might have been roadkill but I prefer the former explanation.

Everton

On 5Live's phone-in, 606, on Saturday night, there was the normal range of whinging, one-eyed football fans sounding off about their teams as if they were the most important things around. An Everton fan came on, saying that he had been at the home defeat to Wigan (which is amusing enough as it is, but that's another blog). He was saying that the team had performed so badly that Everton fans were righting each other in the streets around Goodison Park after the game, and that something had to be done about the team so they didn't cause this.

Several points:

Does anyone actually believe that they have a right to blame a team's performance for them starting a fight? Do they not have some responsibility for their own actions? Are they too stupid not to be led sheep-like into violence? (I realise that metaphor breaks down a bit as sheep tend not to be too violent). In today's culture, it is always someone else's faults for your actions, be it your parents, your doctors or the performance of your football team.

Also, did nobody stop to think that they were fighting simply because they were Scousers and they they enjoy that sort of thing. Although you could say that they were fighting simply because they were football fans and they they enjoy that sort of thing.

Surely this is just "anti-social behaviour", but if it was properly condemned and punished by society it might actually have an effect.

Does this ever happen at rugby and cricket games?

Did they stop to think that alcohol might actually have had something to do with it?

Racing Drivers

If you had watched your father or uncle flying around a race track every weekend risking life and limb, would you follow in his footsteps?

ex-F1
Damon Hill (son of Graham)
Christian Fittipaldi

Current F1
Jacques Villeneuve

GP2, testing for F1
Nico Rosberg

A1 GP
Thomas Schekter
Christian Jones (possibly some better Australians out there)
Mathias Lauda (may not have inherited the skills...)
Nelson Piquet Jr
(and the Czech driver whose father runs the team).

Paul Stewart at least went into running the team

Are these good career choices?

A1 GP

Surely the future of motor racing. A wonderful specatacle, 25 cars representing 25 different nations. Exciting racing, mistakes in the pits, the Lebanese car flying into the ravel trap (the driver escaping miraculously and waving to the enormos crowd), overtaking and two wonderful victories for the Brazilian, Nelson Piquet jr.

Large numbers of recognisable names, cheap ticket prices, good marketing, individually liveried but otherwise identical cars and a really good concept.

The only thing that's bad is the incredibly badly designed website which is advertised on every car!

I used to watch Formula 1 religiously, but it has really lost its lustre as the manufacturers muscle in on all the teams. Gone are Sauber, Jordan, Stewart, Minardi. Only Frank Williams is left as the standard bearer for the non-works cars. Red Bull and BAR are just full team adverts, and may as well both be Team Honda. McLaren is Mercedes amd ferarri is basically Fiat (doesn't sound as good though).

Champ Cars are good. IRL bores me on the Ovals (although with Dan Wheldon the first GB champion since mansell it has its moments), but A1 GP seems to be the way forward. First race weekend - glowing success.

Thetford Priory

Why is such an enormous set of ruins totally free to get in. Surely English Heritage shoud be making money and marketing it. It is enormous and if you add the gatehouse (which admittedly is in the front garden of a neighbouring house), considerable amounts are still standing. In places, it is similar to Glastonbury, which has visitors galore and a full interactive visitor centre.

English Heritage are extremely good at what they look after, but they often don't seem to expliot things enough.

The Oxford Star

This is a free newspaper delivered within Oxfordshire. A selection of items this week:

Someone from Blackbird Leys won £25 for taking two photographs, one of something beautiful in the area and one of something grotty. Beautiful? The Kassam Stadium! (and this with a big picture of someone waving £25 in the air on the front page)

A bench has been built outside a hospital.

Someone had to cancel a gig and the club owners got someone else in at the last moment.

Alan Whicker came to Oxford.

The council have built a new office.

A letter addressed to Mill Road somewhere in Cornwall was delivered to Wolvercote, Oxford

Grandparents can get some money off on train tickets.

I got too depressed and suicidal to read any further.

Tappins

Tappins coaches have always been the lcoal coach service for Didcot and the surrounding area. They have gone through several series of rebranding, including ther lettering and colour scheme. They do however remain the local service, doing many school runs, concert runs, taking people to Belgium for their Christmas shopping, etc.

They have changed after years of "Tappins, Didcot", to "Tappins. Oxford"! They are 15 miles from Oxford, have nothing to do with Oxford except the county. Two questions:

Are they ashamed of coming from Didcot?

Whay are there so many places within a 50 mile radius that want to be associated with Oxford? It is after all a bit of a hole full of poo.

Didcot Tesco Late

Didcot Tesco is full of freaks and wierdos once it gets past 9:30 at night. Single blokes in their fifties with greasy unwashed hair, goggle-eyed outcasts with trolleys full of cat food. People spending longer at the single reduced counter than anywhere else in the store. The shoppers aren't much better.

And then I looked at myself also going round the shop, on my own at that time of night, with a trolley full of cat and dog food, chocolate bisuits, 5 packs fo reduced salad at 10 p each, and a 12 pack of Red Bull.

Oh well. Can't be choosers and all that.

I also can't believe where they get the night time shelf stackers. They almost intentionally get in your way when you're trying to get things off the shelves, they complete far more conversations than shelves stacked, they have no concept that the customers might be the important ones in the store, even at that time of night. Last night, there were several just sitting around slagging each other off. I was half expecting them to pull out a box of cigarettes and a load of cans of lager. When I tried to reach something behind them, I was given a look more withering than the Queen's minders would if you farted in front of her. Of course, they might have been trying to comprehend that fact that I could use words with more than one syllable, and could actually read the sides of the packets.

The Phillippines

Rafael Lotilla, the energy secretary of the Philippines, is proposing a ban on all forms of motorsport in the country in an effort to save fuel and slow the increases in fuel prices. It seems from reports in the press that a law is being prepared.

This is a brilliant move and it will push racing fans into non-regulated and clandestine activities which will be more dangerous (and probably more popular) than the current arrangements.

Sven Logjen's Songbook

A second blog. To occasionally be updated with lyrics. I've got a few thousand songs I need to write up!

Two Weeks in Hell

Two Weeks In Hell

(c) Sven Logjens 2005

Flabby white bodies spill from the plane
Full of plans for two weeks in the sun
Sleeping with people without knowing their name
Two weeks of choreographed fun

The pattern's the same from coast to shining coast
Sleeping of excess in the midday heat
Trying for conquests of which you can boast
Trying to forget the losers you'll meet

White to pink to very sore red
As the sand rubs into your lotion
And who the hell got in in their head
To get married beside the ocean

Can't find no sustenance so you take it with you
Heinz and Walkers and PG Tips
You're wild and free do what you wanna do
But your parents, they'd have a fit

Separated from the gaggle you're been partying with
Find yourself in a strange bar
The tequila the slammer the Mickey Finn
Whisked away in a strange car

Wake up with the waves lapping your face
and soreness in your head and elsewhere
Last night's memory gone without trace
With guilt but no-one to share

You'd get a taxi back to your hotel
But you've no phrase book and no friendly face
You're panicking now; it was a living hell
You'll say later at Trisha's place

Crawl back in the evening but only to find
No one missed you or came looking
They assume that you'd pulled and had a great time
And had sorted next year's booking

Well it makes you sweat and it makes you swear
You'll soon forget to live in fear
So much for an all-inclusive fare
So what you'll be back next year

Dinnerladies

The most repeated programme on UK Gold. Does anybody remember it being on terrestrial television on its first run?

Hibernation

Is it all about sleeping or the country of Scotland?

Right Wing Think Tank

Who pays these people, and what on earth do they do?

East Midlands Universities

The most annoying adverts at the moment - those universities which are desparately trying to fill their places by advertising to the great unwashed (i.e., on ITV). All the adverts appear to have been made by the creative media departments by students who have not yet got the hang of selling, getting any message across or filming television. Low budget, shoddy and unprofessional. De Montford and Derby - this means you.

The Simpsons vs Futurama

Why did they cancel Futurama and leave the Simpsons running? The Simpsons is relying on the guest star of the week and has got very stale, while Futurama was far funnier, far more jokes and comic situations, it relied on comedy rather than just a knowledge of the characters.

BIt like Friends, the X Files and Last of the Summer Wine - good in their heyday but ended up past it, stale and peddling recycled situations for diminishing returns.

Linda Barker

She's now doing adverts for DFS. Dan must be thrilled.

P and O Cruises

There's a World Out There.


You won't actually see any of it because you'll be on a boat. You might see a load of dirty ports and have a whistle stop tour round the most crowded destinations in the world, and be sold the most expensive tat that exists. You can always buy the overpriced, wrong-region DVDs from every stop and watch them when you get back home. If 70% of the world is covered in water, then you can see a representative sample in one day. Seen one bit of water, seen most of it.

Oh, and all the "genuine replica" handbags and watches will be fallen apart/stopped working when you hit British soil.

The English Cricket team

It may well be relevant to their success, but the Ashes winning English team represented most corners of England and Wales;

North East - Harmison, Collingwood (and Gary Pratt)
Yorkshire - Vaughan (Sheffield), Hoggard
Lancashire - Flintoff (Preston) (also Anderson as back up)
West Midlands - Giles (Droitwich), Bell
Wales - S. Jones (also G. Jones)
South West - Trecothick (Taunton?)
South East - Strauss
South - Pietersen (Hampshire)
East Midlands - Pietersen (Nottinghamshire)

South Africa - Pietersen
Australia - G. Jones
Papua New Guinea - G. Jones

OK so the last few are a bit dodgy, but as a theory it's quite good.

The Memory of Binge

The Memory of Binge

(c) Sven Logjens 2005

Let's paint the town, she said
Black and gold and red
Something's got in her head
And she left us all for dead

Her fire burns inside
She trampled on my pride
With all the rules defied
She came to me to hide

She's too wild and free
Never tie her down
Chases every dream
Until it leaves her town
She thinks she's got her plan
But it drives her down
She thinks she's got her man
But he's scared to make a sound

She swore we'd be forever
Meant to be together
With my best endeavour
Couldn't keep her ever

I wanted to be mothered
Never trashed and smothered
All the bases covered
She walked away...

In the mirror's a stranger
Don't recognise the danger
Try to be the Lone Ranger
and it all falls apart...

On this night on the town
You won't remember a sound
Of the miserable clown
Who's world is breaking down
Yeah this night on the town
Lights and "Spinning Around"
The smile or the frown
as you world is breaking down

And you wait til the morning after
And you wait til the morning after
And you wait til the morning after

Come find me a cure

Newspaper sports pages

It would be very refreshing to see an entire set of sports pages of any newspaper with no mention on football. Sport in the UK is now more of less equated with football. I know that cricket, rugby, athletics, the Olympics, tennis and golf get their time in the sunonce or twice a year, but even then they are in competition with news of transfers in the 2nd Division, or the latest brawl, sexual shenanigans, banal statement, formation discussion, argument, tiff or merchandising deal from the overpaid, under-talented, deskilled, goldfish bowl dwelling, precious, temperamental, spolied, usually foreign unfit role models in the Premiership.

Wickes Health and Safety

DIY giant Wickes was fined £75,000 after a child was crushed under a heap of falling doors in one of its stores (in Derby).

Wickes said in mitigation that they spend £2 million a year on Health and Safety.

Interesting, but how is that £2 million actually split up. Wickes have 183 stores across the UK, not including Head Office (i.e., £11,000 per store). each store must employ 20 - 100 people, so about £500 per person would be a generous estimate. One H&S professional per 20 stores, paid £25k on average gies you £250,000. Two first aiders per store (training only) would cost another £50k. First aid equipment, at least the same. Signage is probably £250k per year - all corporate badged. Insurance inspections for fork lifts, boiler systems, etc., would eat into the remainder.

The point is that £2 million per year is very little for a firm the size of Wickes. The headline value seems at first glance to be impressive.

The Weakest Link (genuine)

Which month is named after a God?

Thursday

(c) this week's Private Eye

Mobile Phone Chargers

If a mobile phone charger (or indeed any DC to AC converter) is left plugged in, it will keep taking between 80 and 90% of the electricity that it would take if it is actually charging something. Costs a fortune...

Cheques

The first British cheque was written in 1659.

Mercury and Lead

25% of all mercury released into the atmosphere in the UK comes from crematoria.

Lead (a nasty material which bioaccumulates and stunts growth and development, especially in children) was removed from petrol to be replaced with benzene, one of the most potent human carcinogens known. Benzene content of petrol can be up to 4% in high performance fuels. Whenever you fill up with petrol at a filling station, you are inhaling 4% benzene and risk lung and other cancers. Passive smoking?? Somthing tells me the medical profession have yet again got their priorities wrong.

Waxing Backs

Sam waxes my back. She says it is so she can tell the difference between my back and front in the dark.

Wondering

How many times does one fart in a lifetime? Obviously an average person, not me.

And how many times does anyone notice...