Toilets
If you have a sensitive disposition, please do not read any further. This is a list of the 14 most memorable toilet experiences of recent memory:
Kuala Lumpur railway station. Sam was desparate, walked in to find (literally) a hole in the ground with a hosepipe running into it. She turned round to the (British) person standing next to her, and wordlessly they both turned round and walked out.
Gortys, Crete. In Greece, the toilet paper goes into the bin by the side of the toilet as the plumbing/sewer pipes are very easily blocked. However, the users of the public toilets at Gortys (which is a magnificent 4th? Century basilica) seemed not to have grasped this simple fact. Hence, the bowl was stacked several inches abouve the rim. Not pleasant.
Wells bus station. There is a certain time of desparation when you will accept anything. I very nearly didn't.
Adams Mark Hotel, Indianapolis. I had jet lag and was wandering around the hotel at 4 am wide awake. Unfortunately, I managed to block the toilet so badly that it was on the verge of overflowing whenever flushed. I have rarely been more embarrassed then when explaining that to the chamber maid, who immediately went to look for some thick rubber gloves. It resulted in a large tip.
Thission Metro station, Athens. Just don't ask. Close your eyes and go...
Newport railway station (and Bournemouth sea front). You can tell when a town has a drug problem due to the blue lights.
Waitrose, Rushden. Ok, so there was something wrong with my insides, but I have never been more relieved to find a decent set of loos just off the main road. Indeed, I have rarely been more relieved, full stop.
Debenham's, Oxford. In every town we visit, we find the decent local toilets and then keep going back.
Rhodes Old Town, Rhodes. Just outside the main entrance. Don't think about them any more.
Ladygrove Lakes, Didcot. Taking the dog for a walk, as I walked around the corner there were two teenage girls relieving themselves in front of the swans. You don't expect lower frontal nudity on a wet Friday evening. Especially not when they are being cheered on by a group of other teenagers further towards the lake. Actually, maybe you do expect it in Didcot.
Arc de Triomphe, Paris. I certainly don't expect to find a superb set of toilets in Paris. Maybe they are there just to make up for the other public conveniences.
Peninsula Hotel, Hong Kong. Just opposite the Prada concession in one of the most expensive arcades known to man, actually underneath the hotel. Unfortunately, if you are desparate, you don't check whether or not you have taken any cash in with you. Solution: wash hands furiously for 10 minutes until you can sneak out behind someone else when the attendant is looking the other way, and feel guilty about it for days afterwards.
The Hare, West Hendred (before renovation). Sam developed a septic finger after cutting her hand on the door lock.
Lake Maggiore, Italy. They attempt to refuse you entry into the ladies (this happened to Sam not me, before anyone reads too much into it). OK, Sam was 12 and had very short hair, but...
Kuala Lumpur railway station. Sam was desparate, walked in to find (literally) a hole in the ground with a hosepipe running into it. She turned round to the (British) person standing next to her, and wordlessly they both turned round and walked out.
Gortys, Crete. In Greece, the toilet paper goes into the bin by the side of the toilet as the plumbing/sewer pipes are very easily blocked. However, the users of the public toilets at Gortys (which is a magnificent 4th? Century basilica) seemed not to have grasped this simple fact. Hence, the bowl was stacked several inches abouve the rim. Not pleasant.
Wells bus station. There is a certain time of desparation when you will accept anything. I very nearly didn't.
Adams Mark Hotel, Indianapolis. I had jet lag and was wandering around the hotel at 4 am wide awake. Unfortunately, I managed to block the toilet so badly that it was on the verge of overflowing whenever flushed. I have rarely been more embarrassed then when explaining that to the chamber maid, who immediately went to look for some thick rubber gloves. It resulted in a large tip.
Thission Metro station, Athens. Just don't ask. Close your eyes and go...
Newport railway station (and Bournemouth sea front). You can tell when a town has a drug problem due to the blue lights.
Waitrose, Rushden. Ok, so there was something wrong with my insides, but I have never been more relieved to find a decent set of loos just off the main road. Indeed, I have rarely been more relieved, full stop.
Debenham's, Oxford. In every town we visit, we find the decent local toilets and then keep going back.
Rhodes Old Town, Rhodes. Just outside the main entrance. Don't think about them any more.
Ladygrove Lakes, Didcot. Taking the dog for a walk, as I walked around the corner there were two teenage girls relieving themselves in front of the swans. You don't expect lower frontal nudity on a wet Friday evening. Especially not when they are being cheered on by a group of other teenagers further towards the lake. Actually, maybe you do expect it in Didcot.
Arc de Triomphe, Paris. I certainly don't expect to find a superb set of toilets in Paris. Maybe they are there just to make up for the other public conveniences.
Peninsula Hotel, Hong Kong. Just opposite the Prada concession in one of the most expensive arcades known to man, actually underneath the hotel. Unfortunately, if you are desparate, you don't check whether or not you have taken any cash in with you. Solution: wash hands furiously for 10 minutes until you can sneak out behind someone else when the attendant is looking the other way, and feel guilty about it for days afterwards.
The Hare, West Hendred (before renovation). Sam developed a septic finger after cutting her hand on the door lock.
Lake Maggiore, Italy. They attempt to refuse you entry into the ladies (this happened to Sam not me, before anyone reads too much into it). OK, Sam was 12 and had very short hair, but...
posted by Jonathan | Sunday, April 24, 2005
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